i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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