Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
