his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
