Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
