I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Randomize
