You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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