Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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