remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I have tasted many bathrooms
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
