Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
she peed on how many people?
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
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