Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
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