No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
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