I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
