Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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