just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Someone came in the potted fern
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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