i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
