i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
is this the sara with the beer cane?
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
