hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
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