he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Someone shattered a urinal.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
