I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
