the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
