You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
it's great music for shaving your balls
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
