I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Randomize
