she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Randomize
