Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Randomize
