Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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