he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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