after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
