She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
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