dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
