So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
