Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
only you would photoshop your dick
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Randomize
