All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
