I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
