Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
