Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
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