Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
