i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
