dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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