well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
