Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
She is in my trunk
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
