I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Randomize
