We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
So squirting runs in the family.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
