I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Randomize
