I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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