If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I'd wear matching sweaters with you
did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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