Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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