Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
