Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
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