Im at strip club and am horny
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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