Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
