i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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