Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
accomplished twins. life is a go
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
