My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
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