i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Randomize
