Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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