i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Randomize
